You wanna argue with that??

I doubt you can…

Another Sunday morning found me walking through the gates of the Texas Renaissance Festival….the day was sorta overcast with clouds coming and going all day long….for Mid November it was warm but there was a breeze that would blow through enough to keep it tolerable….hard to get ready for the holidays when summer won’t let go….

Getting there just a little after the opening cannon, I got to see some of those first few moments of the drama of the day…..funny…..its pretty much the same thing every week…..heck….it is the same thing every week…..but I always find it fun to watch and since most people there are seeing it for the first time you can always count on laughter and an anticipation for a day full of fun and frolicking….one must frolic when at TRF……right?


After watching for a bit I headed back to find what I had missed out on the time before……Bacon Ona Stick…..

Is there such a thing as the perfect food???

Well, I would argue that Chicken Fried Bacon is as close to being perfect as it comes…..and I have a thought on that as it relates to my Bacon Ona Stick….but…..later…..

I found what I was looking for and ordered a piece…..the lady called out to those mysterious people behind the wall….”One deep fried bacon ona stick”…..

Deep Fried???? that was news to me…..that tid-bit of information only added to my wonder-lust…..

I paid my 5 pounds and proceeded to walk to the back-end of the faire….my first bite I thought….”This is pretty good….but…..”

For the most part the bacon was crispy and had a nice flavor…not a lot of fat so the meat-to-stick proportion was good…..but for bacon (the perfect food type) that is ona stick (the perfect way to eat food) it wasn’t INCREDIBLE…..just pretty good…..


Now I ate every last bit of it…..I sucked that stick clean…..but afterwards I was not as euphoric as I had hoped to be…now here is where the Chicken Fred Bacon comes in…..if His Majesty would take the extra steps of dipping the bacon into a batter and then deep-frying it……this would be beyond the perfect food…..serve it plain or with something to dip it in…….just a suggestion…..from a guy who eats a lot of stuff out at the festival….

Now, being not as satisfied as I thought I would be with the Bacon Ona Stick…..I made my way down to the German Section….where I was real tempted to get another Royal Hamburg…..but being that I promised I would cover as many foods as I could…..I ordered a Reuben Sandwich….I love Reubens…..and I’ll admit for 5 pounds, the Reuben at the TRF is pretty good….you will never confuse it with a deli styled reuben from Victors or someplace in New York City…..but its really pretty good…..the bread has a nice flavor….it kinda gets soggy with the sauerkraut….but its good….the meat has a nice seasoning to it and the saurekraut really adds to the overall taste….I would still spend my money on the Royal Hamburg…..but this is a good little sandwich….


As I was putting the last of the reuben into my mouth I realized I had left something in my car…..so…..I was headed back outside when I came upon the most interesting conversation…..King Henry and two of his Beefeaters were in a discussion with two young men on which side of the road was higher than the other…..and which of those to aforementioned sides would then be superior to the other….The King would state his royal opinion and then the young men would try to convince him otherwise……this went on for about five minutes…..neither side was giving any ground (sorry no pun intended)…..finally The King looked in my direction and ask what I thought……I simply said I would always side with His Majesty because his would always be the superior intelect…..this did nothing to change the young men’s mind and finally it was decided….just because he said so….that King Henry was right and that the side of the road he thought was higher was indeed higher and thus more superior……he also declared that the two young men would make fine additions to the royal guards….I am always amazed at what you stumble upon at TRF…..if you let yourself be a part of the day…..you will always have more fun…..

Having retrieved my missing item I walked back into the faire at the perfect time to go watch some of the Highland Games….nothing like seeing men in skirts (kilts) throwing big poles….being a Scot (at least after I saw Braveheart) and having been to the land of my people….it brought back memories of my time on The Isle of Skye….

After watching this fine display of manliness….I then waited for the Joust……while I waited I enjoyed watching and listening to the Beef Jerky Guy entice people to try his meat(s)….many of the street venders are quite entertaining and worth a few minutes of your time to watch them work as people pass by…..


I watched the Joust and cheered for the English Champion….he lost to the French…..it had to be rigged…..I mean who ever looses to the French???

After this I moved down into Sherwood Forest and made my way to the Sweets Booth…..having had a funnel cake a few weeks back, I was there to try something I’ve had many times before and if push came to shove it is something I prefer to funnel cake…..the apple dumpling with ice cream….kinda sad that in the middle of the fall that ice cream is still something to beat back the warmth of the day….but things are what they are and the apple dumpling with ice cream is always a fine choice….an apple is covered in batter and deep-fried to a golden crust and then is served with a scoop of vanilla ice cream….the dumpling itself is very good….the crust is done just right and the apple is warm and sweet….but when you add the ice cream….it really creates a party of flavors that play inside your mouth…..you have to work it to where you get a little of all three and that becomes easier as the ice cream melts….you can then just spoon it over the dumpling and get every taste that is there….as you can see….I’ve done extensive research in this area…..it is only after years and years of back-breaking work that I have come to these deep and profound conclusions….


And that concluded my eating for the day……I was very tempted to grab a pretzel on my way out but decided my Fatness had reached its limits……I find it very sad that I can’t just eat and eat and eat at this time of the year…..it would seem that the Almighty would have suspended the laws of the universe during this three-month period each year…..if say from…..the First of October to the End of the First Week of January….God could just let us eat and nothing “bad” would happen…..eat anything and everything you want….and we’ll just let it slide for three months…..maybe we could start a Prayer Chain and see what we can do….


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